The Place I Needed To Go To

God has given me many opportunities in my life and has taken care of me through every trial He has allowed me to endure.  Thankfully, He did much more than that; He gave me a place to grow.

I have been a student at Williams Baptist College for 1.5 years and am now a Senior at this place that should be God-forsaken out in the fields with no sign of a high populated area nearby, yet He has been reigning on this campus for a long time. This semester I have grown more as an individual than I ever have, not by the classes I take, but through the experiences I am given.

First off, I have lost almost all of my friends from not only my past but also here on Williams campus. Most people would think losing friends would be a huge negative impact on someone's life, but this has been the most humbling experience I have undertaken. I have basically went from a somebody to a nobody in very little time flat.  Why did I do this? Why am I living in a little more solitude?  Because God is preparing me. He has given me some tremendous people to experience life with which I'll get to later on in this post. 

God has also shown me that no matter how much biblical academics I may know, I must never lose sight of what's way more important than that; Jesus.  I may know a lot of things that others do not, like backgrounds of biblical passages, cultures and geography of the biblical areas, and many other trinkets, but if I don't understand that the world needs a dying and lost Savior, then there's no point.  If I don't understand that Christians need to have a guide to make them strive more than just a Sunday morning worship service, then my life is void. I am like the salt that has lost its flavor only to be trampled on by men (Mt 5:13). God is alive and is powerful and not one person within the church can be taught deep theological things unless they know the Lord, unless they have become disciples themselves.

Williams has allowed me to grow in my spiritual walk with the Lord. I have never opened my Bible more than I have since coming to this "God-forsaken" place. I have never been more in prayer, more in expelling demons from my life and others, more in worship, more in praise, more in life with my Father. I have always wasted my time in the worthless things of this world, but now I want to "waste" time with Him. I want to spend my time with my Lord and I want my life to be about what is true in the light of eternity.

God has allowed me to meet some amazing people here at Williams whom I believe I will be able to keep in contact with for the rest of my life.  Ben Carr has been my spiritual guide for a few months now and as many times as we fail each other as best friends, I can not imagine him not being there.  He has listened to me complain. He has listened to my old sinful life. He has listened to everything under the sun that I have told him and he is still standing by my side through each fault, through each triumph, and through each problem that comes my way with encouraging words.  Ben recently changed his major from Christian Ministries to Psychology and as much as I hated him for doing this, I now realize he has been working in psychology with me through these past few months just listening to me vent and struggle... and letting me find out everything for myself with nonjudgmental tones. Ben, stick close. You make me mad sometimes but you do have an impact on a lot of the things I do.   Elizabeth Kessler... I have put you through all sorts of junk and back. Making you listen to me in my car rant about things that you didn't want to hear. Making you go with me on trips just to be put back on the backburner each and every time. Making you have patience for everything because I'm not ready for everything that is to come.  You see, I'm a worrier. I worry about people and I worry about what my life will become because I never got the chance to think about myself.  I never got the chance to think my life was going to become something more than just a people person and helping others in need.  So to say that I'm scared would be an understatement.  I love you... with all of my heart. But I have absolutely no understanding of how to show it because I have never experienced it before. So when I say I need patience... I need patience. You have seen me in my complete failures and in my successes and even told me I was stupid for several things I had done... yet you stuck by me.  You allowed me to be your spiritual leader as if a wife would because we both understand that biblically, we are dating for the reason of possible futures.  You have told me your problems and I sometimes ignore it and do other things but I'm stubborn. You understand this.. and you haven't quit. Even when you wanted to, you didn't. I don't have anything big and elaborate for you for Valentine's day this year... I'm a broke college student... but understand this:  I want you to be fully awake and aware that I love you. I love you. Be patient... and adhere to God's timing on everything.

Without God's direction to Williams... my life would have not ever begun.

Belief System

I believe everything happens for a reason. This semester I have been enrolled into a class called Basic Christian Ethics and it has allowed me to realize that most of my belief systems are built upon what I have been taught growing up or just by the ones around me.  What I need is my own belief system built by what I have found.  If I was primarily taught what the Bible says by one person without actually reading my Bible, I don't think I'd ever know what my belief system was... or my salvation would be my parents and not my own.

This is some of my beliefs with scripture supporting why I believe these things. I understand my beliefs may be different than any other, but I do support mine with scripture and how I interpret each one.  Thank you for reading this.

• I believe abortion is killing a human life that God created. (Gen 1:27, Jm 3:9-10, Ps 127:3; 139:13, 15)
• I believe cursing and foul language is a strayed person from God. (Eph. 4:29, Col 3:8, Jm 3:10, Mt 12:36-37)
• I believe in modesty. (1 Tim 2:9-10)
•  I believe any form of sexual activity before marriage is sin. (1 Cor 7:1-40, Heb 13:4, Ex 22:16, Gal 5:19)
• I believe in the Baptist Faith & Message (www.sbc.net/bfm/bfm2000.asp)

These are the things I have been challenged with answering this week.  I hope it helps you few.

New Year. New Beginnings.

As the year 2013 has just passed by like a vapor, we come onto a brand new year of 2014. Here is the list of things I have learned in this year:

• Never take on more than you can handle.
• Learn what boundaries your friends are to you. 
• One mistake with your words can change your life.
• People you think you love come and go, but are replaced.
• The ones you once thought were yours for eternity are, all of a sudden, the ones you wish to avoid.
• Sometimes the only one you can trust is God.
• Your life isn't suppose to be easy. Everything is complicated and will never go exactly your planned way.
• Your mistakes can ruin lives.
• Your walk with Christ is important and watched by many.
• When you have people that mean a lot to you in your life, always tell them. If they feel you confide in them too much, then it means they aren't the ones you need to keep around. 
• The ones you rely on most can also be the ones who hurt you the most. Just stick with them anyway.
• Lastly, when you have bad things happen to you... Rejoice. 

This year has been nothing but something from the pits of Hell but also filled with much thankfulness. The struggles I have been through have been immense and I do not wish any of these upon anyone.

This is my new start.

This is my new plan.

This is my broken life remaining broken...

but the pieces are finally held...

by Elizabeth Kessler...

by Cody Harp...

by Ben Carr...

by Jesus my Savior...

by the Holy Spirit my Guide...

and by God my Father.

I thank the Lord for the people he has brought into my life and even though a couple of these have not even closely seen the big excitement thrills or the lowest points of my life and how I deal, they still have stuck by me and I trust they still will a year from now.  A year from now when I have graduated Williams Baptist College, I hope that these three along with my God, Savior, and Guide, will still be by my side for correction, safety, and comfort through the darkest days and even my happiest days. I love you guys more than you can imagine. I have actually prayed for God to find me the ones to lead me down a corrected life and to bring the people into it that will support me and hold me accountable. You guys are that for me. Thank you.

This 2014, I have begun a new plan to read the entire bible chronologically alongside Elizabeth Kessler and even challenged some of the youth to partake in it as well. The posts you will see on this blog will reflect those readings occasionally and encompass the journey He has for me. No one is perfect, but my God shows the way in all things. 

New Year. New Beginnings. 

Through the Veil of History

It's amazing how simply moving from a house back to your parent's home then to a dorm in the next week can be. I was able to find all of my papers from my last year's journey of Williams and find some pretty neat things. I believe Williams has shaped and molded my life into who I am today and I thank God for that. A few things I wrote about two semesters ago came back up in my life. They are the following:

What is the role of family in faith development in children and youth?
The most important people within faith development would have to be the family; most importantly the guardians that take hold of the children/youth.  The sole supporters of the kids within their faith development holds within the parents' hands in that they are they ones who are constantly in communication and contact with them.  The youth pastor within a church is sometimes looked at to be the sole supporter of youth and kids and sometimes can be thought upon to "fix" their development and create it stronger; however this is not the case. The parents are to bring up their children in the way they should go, and be the sole supporters in faith development.
Within scripture, several instances reflect on the parents teaching the children in the way they should be trained and developed within their faith.  Ephesians 6:4 clearly states that fathers should bring up their children in "the training and instruction of the Lord."  Fathers have a clear role to aid in the development of children to directly give the training in which the Lord commanded.
Deuteronomy 6:6-9 heavily advocated the teaching of children through specific instruction to teach "diligently" and in a constant manner. The scripture highly advocates that the idea of development of faith should be around the children everywhere they go within the household so that they will grow in the way they should grow, even advocating to "write them on the doorposts of your house" as a sign of importance and clarity of the seriousness of such a task.
The most influential piece of scripture for parents is within Proverbs which speaks of training a child in the way they should go.  The scripture explains that when brought up within a home that is Christian-based and God-based, that the idea of everything learned will not leave their minds and thoughts, and will be with them throughout their days.  Even if the child, after growing up, changes their thoughts and mind processes, the ideas and values of their parents' training will not depart nor leave their minds, but will always be with them.

Then I also found this gem on the same topic: 

The first place to begin is to reflect how Jesus captured the importance of children within the biblical text. Jesus's mindset was very much toward children in the Bible.  Even so, Jesus proved the disciples wrong in that children have a very unique and developing faith that most do not capture (Lk 18:15-17).  Children are very much a gift from the Lord (Ps 127:3-5).  If we are to live a Christ centered life while we are in existence on this planet, then taking care of a child's basic spiritual needs should be a very essential part of the family's and church's work.
The spiritual journey for children should first and foremost come from the family.  Parents should be able to instill Jesus into their daily walk alongside their children diligently.  The Bible demands a clear understanding for children to be trained and brought through a spiritual development process by the parents (Prv 22:6).  The mothers, fathers, or guardians thereof should be able to show the children that Jesus is walking daily with their family and the child's life every single moment that there is on this earth through the imitation of Christ and pure example (Dt 6:7).  Christ should first be exemplified in the home and taken into close consideration allowing the child to openly share their faith and feelings toward their parents about their Christian walk.  It is often said that the child looks up to the parents and imitates their ways and speech to learn, grow, and develop throughout this life.  If children are going to walk in the ways of the parents, then the parents need to be leading the child towards God.

God's Love Over All

I'm not going to lie when I say that my entire life has entered confusion mode.  God enters specific people into your head to begin praying and do so without ceasing for long periods of time.  This has happened since the last school year and will continue to go on as long as I'm around.  I understand God has a reason for all of the things that enter through, but I'll never know what could come of these things, or what hardships I may face from it.  Something that could be so easily condemnable or so harshly viewed could be the one thing that is the most Christ-centered of all.  All I can do is just press play on this life that I have going for me and to be sure that I don't pause any of the things that should keep going.  I've pushed pause on this life, and nothing came out of it of edifying glory or praise of God.  However, when kept going, I felt much closer to God and He knew my every weakness and I overcame every obstacle much easier than I am now.

God knows my heart and my every weakness. He understands my life and where it shall go.  It's time to remember what is on my inner mind and forget the outside thought.  For God knows the plans He has for me. Ones to prosper me.  I am His. He is mine.  That's all that matters.

These Things I Will Do...

Life has never been more chaotic than it has been over this past semester. This soul has been through stress, chaos, heartbreak, and abundance of joys. This mind has ventured into the places many others would not venture, but also has remained so common to avoid confusion within other's lives around me. I have stood up to the challenges that were before me, overcame, and learned from each experience. Oh, how Williams teaches us more than we ever could realize.
All I can say is I'm grateful and thankful for every person that has ventured into my life since January. As my close friends would know, I was not in the best place and honestly my life still consumes places that need worked on, but in all thankfulness, a select few have stopped their busy schedules to come down and let me vent every part of my life, every facet, and every thought process. God has supplied my every need this semester and I'm thankful that I'm allowed the privilege to grow in Him, while growing in my friendship with others.

Thank God for all He is. Through the trials, the pain, the strife, He still prevails. There's no darkness, only light within the hearts of those who love Him first and foremost. Never lose sight. I lost my way, and He waited for me to find Him again.

I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.

Isaiah 42:16

The Perfect Puzzle, The Perfect Painting

Sometimes, I sit back and listen to people try and understand the world. They try to make sense of the things around them and nothing seems to make sense anymore. Life just seems jumbled, what once made sense is completely irrelevant now, and the things of this world does not quite satisfy the way they wish it would. Sometimes it's like losing that last puzzle piece that could create the missing link, or the very last color you need to paint the perfect portrait. However, what we end up finding is finding that puzzle piece that doesn't match at all, or finding out that there isn't an adequate color to finish the portrait you're trying to complete because it's all too sophisticated.

I don't believe life is meant to make all complete sense. If it did, then what would the journey be like? It would be too easy, we would not understand the mistakes we make or the relationships we create with various people. This life would be, in a sense, too bleak and bland. I praise God for the trials, tribulations, and the things I've went through in my life. Although nothing makes sense to me at all, I have the peace to know that He holds what I cannot.

I don't believe I'm suppose to understand everything I've gotten into or even what kind of world this is. Nothing makes sense because my life isn't suppose to be cookie-cutted. I'm always being molded, always shaped, and always becoming closer and closer to whatever I'm intended to be. Whatever comes up in my life, that's what will happen. Whatever doesn't show up, that'll just be another barrier to push myself over or just to walk around altogether and keep trekking forward. Whatever seems complicated, do not try to make sense of it... just sit back and watch it unravel. Expectation is the root of all heart ache. We just have to hop in the car and go, fix the small things, and embrace the picture being painted that our colors do not seem to convey, or put in the puzzle piece that doesn't fit. Who says a mismatched piece in a puzzle isn't beautiful?


Ty