Thursday, February 6, 2014

The Place I Needed To Go To

God has given me many opportunities in my life and has taken care of me through every trial He has allowed me to endure.  Thankfully, He did much more than that; He gave me a place to grow.
I have been a student at Williams Baptist College for 1.5 years and am now a Senior at this place that should be God-forsaken out in the fields with no sign of a high populated area nearby, yet He has been reigning on this campus for a long time. This semester I have grown more as an individual than I ever have, not by the classes I take, but through the experiences I am given.

First off, I have lost almost all of my friends from not only my past but also here on Williams campus. Most people would think losing friends would be a huge negative impact on someone's life, but this has been the most humbling experience I have undertaken. I have basically went from a somebody to a nobody in very little time flat.  Why did I do this? Why am I living in a little more solitude?  Because God is preparing me. He has given me some tremendous people to experience life with which I'll get to later on in this post. 
God has also shown me that no matter how much biblical academics I may know, I must never lose sight of what's way more important than that; Jesus.  I may know a lot of things that others do not, like backgrounds of biblical passages, cultures and geography of the biblical areas, and many other trinkets, but if I don't understand that the world needs a dying and lost Savior, then there's no point.  If I don't understand that Christians need to have a guide to make them strive more than just a Sunday morning worship service, then my life is void. I am like the salt that has lost its flavor only to be trampled on by men (Mt 5:13). God is alive and is powerful and not one person within the church can be taught deep theological things unless they know the Lord, unless they have become disciples themselves.

Williams has allowed me to grow in my spiritual walk with the Lord. I have never opened my Bible more than I have since coming to this "God-forsaken" place. I have never been more in prayer, more in expelling demons from my life and others, more in worship, more in praise, more in life with my Father. I have always wasted my time in the worthless things of this world, but now I want to "waste" time with Him. I want to spend my time with my Lord and I want my life to be about what is true in the light of eternity.

God has allowed me to meet some amazing people here at Williams whom I believe I will be able to keep in contact with for the rest of my life.  Ben Carr has been my spiritual guide for a few months now and as many times as we fail each other as best friends, I can not imagine him not being there.  He has listened to me complain. He has listened to my old sinful life. He has listened to everything under the sun that I have told him and he is still standing by my side through each fault, through each triumph, and through each problem that comes my way with encouraging words.  Ben recently changed his major from Christian Ministries to Psychology and as much as I hated him for doing this, I now realize he has been working in psychology with me through these past few months just listening to me vent and struggle... and letting me find out everything for myself with nonjudgmental tones. Ben, stick close. You make me mad sometimes but you do have an impact on a lot of the things I do.   Elizabeth Kessler... I have put you through all sorts of junk and back. Making you listen to me in my car rant about things that you didn't want to hear. Making you go with me on trips just to be put back on the backburner each and every time. Making you have patience for everything because I'm not ready for everything that is to come.  You see, I'm a worrier. I worry about people and I worry about what my life will become because I never got the chance to think about myself.  I never got the chance to think my life was going to become something more than just a people person and helping others in need.  So to say that I'm scared would be an understatement.  I love you... with all of my heart. But I have absolutely no understanding of how to show it because I have never experienced it before. So when I say I need patience... I need patience. You have seen me in my complete failures and in my successes and even told me I was stupid for several things I had done... yet you stuck by me.  You allowed me to be your spiritual leader as if a wife would because we both understand that biblically, we are dating for the reason of possible futures.  You have told me your problems and I sometimes ignore it and do other things but I'm stubborn. You understand this.. and you haven't quit. Even when you wanted to, you didn't. I don't have anything big and elaborate for you for Valentine's day this year... I'm a broke college student... but understand this:  I want you to be fully awake and aware that I love you. I love you. Be patient... and adhere to God's timing on everything.

Without God's direction to Williams... my life would have not ever begun.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Belief System

I believe everything happens for a reason. This semester I have been enrolled into a class called Basic Christian Ethics and it has allowed me to realize that most of my belief systems are built upon what I have been taught growing up or just by the ones around me.  What I need is my own belief system built by what I have found.  If I was primarily taught what the Bible says by one person without actually reading my Bible, I don't think I'd ever know what my belief system was... or my salvation would be my parents and not my own.
This is some of my beliefs with scripture supporting why I believe these things. I understand my beliefs may be different than any other, but I do support mine with scripture and how I interpret each one.  Thank you for reading this.

  • I believe abortion is killing a human life that God created. (Gen 1:27, Jm 3:9-10, Ps 127:3; 139:13, 15)
  • I believe cursing and foul language is a strayed person from God. (Eph. 4:29, Col 3:8, Jm 3:10, Mt 12:36-37)
  • I believe in modesty. (1 Tim 2:9-10)
  •  I believe any form of sexual activity before marriage is sin. (1 Cor 7:1-40, Heb 13:4, Ex 22:16, Gal 5:19)
  • I believe in the Baptist Faith & Message (www.sbc.net/bfm/bfm2000.asp)

These are the things I have been challenged with answering this week.  I hope it helps you few.

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

New Year. New Beginnings.

As the year 2013 has just passed by like a vapor, we come onto a brand new year of 2014. Here is the list of things I have learned in this year:

  • Never take on more than you can handle.
  • Learn what boundaries your friends are to you. 
  • One mistake with your words can change your life.
  • People you think you love come and go, but are replaced.
  • The ones you once thought were yours for eternity are, all of a sudden, the ones you wish to avoid.
  • Sometimes the only one you can trust is God.
  • Your life isn't suppose to be easy. Everything is complicated and will never go exactly your planned way.
  • Your mistakes can ruin lives.
  • Your walk with Christ is important and watched by many.
  • When you have people that mean a lot to you in your life, always tell them. If they feel you confide in them too much, then it means they aren't the ones you need to keep around. 
  • The ones you rely on most can also be the ones who hurt you the most. Just stick with them anyway.
  • Lastly, when you have bad things happen to you... Rejoice. 

This year has been nothing but something from the pits of Hell but also filled with much thankfulness. The struggles I have been through have been immense and I do not wish any of these upon anyone.

This is my new start.
This is my new plan.
This is my broken life remaining broken...
but the pieces are finally held...
by Elizabeth Kessler...
by Cody Harp...
by Ben Carr...
by Jesus my Savior...
by the Holy Spirit my Guide...
and by God my Father.

I thank the Lord for the people he has brought into my life and even though a couple of these have not even closely seen the big excitement thrills or the lowest points of my life and how I deal, they still have stuck by me and I trust they still will a year from now.  A year from now when I have graduated Williams Baptist College, I hope that these three along with my God, Savior, and Guide, will still be by my side for correction, safety, and comfort through the darkest days and even my happiest days. I love you guys more than you can imagine. I have actually prayed for God to find me the ones to lead me down a corrected life and to bring the people into it that will support me and hold me accountable. You guys are that for me. Thank you.

This 2014, I have begun a new plan to read the entire bible chronologically alongside Elizabeth Kessler and even challenged some of the youth to partake in it as well. The posts you will see on this blog will reflect those readings occasionally and encompass the journey He has for me. No one is perfect, but my God shows the way in all things. 

New Year. New Beginnings.