Through the Veil of History

It's amazing how simply moving from a house back to your parent's home then to a dorm in the next week can be. I was able to find all of my papers from my last year's journey of Williams and find some pretty neat things. I believe Williams has shaped and molded my life into who I am today and I thank God for that. A few things I wrote about two semesters ago came back up in my life. They are the following:

What is the role of family in faith development in children and youth?
The most important people within faith development would have to be the family; most importantly the guardians that take hold of the children/youth.  The sole supporters of the kids within their faith development holds within the parents' hands in that they are they ones who are constantly in communication and contact with them.  The youth pastor within a church is sometimes looked at to be the sole supporter of youth and kids and sometimes can be thought upon to "fix" their development and create it stronger; however this is not the case. The parents are to bring up their children in the way they should go, and be the sole supporters in faith development.
Within scripture, several instances reflect on the parents teaching the children in the way they should be trained and developed within their faith.  Ephesians 6:4 clearly states that fathers should bring up their children in "the training and instruction of the Lord."  Fathers have a clear role to aid in the development of children to directly give the training in which the Lord commanded.
Deuteronomy 6:6-9 heavily advocated the teaching of children through specific instruction to teach "diligently" and in a constant manner. The scripture highly advocates that the idea of development of faith should be around the children everywhere they go within the household so that they will grow in the way they should grow, even advocating to "write them on the doorposts of your house" as a sign of importance and clarity of the seriousness of such a task.
The most influential piece of scripture for parents is within Proverbs which speaks of training a child in the way they should go.  The scripture explains that when brought up within a home that is Christian-based and God-based, that the idea of everything learned will not leave their minds and thoughts, and will be with them throughout their days.  Even if the child, after growing up, changes their thoughts and mind processes, the ideas and values of their parents' training will not depart nor leave their minds, but will always be with them.

Then I also found this gem on the same topic: 

The first place to begin is to reflect how Jesus captured the importance of children within the biblical text. Jesus's mindset was very much toward children in the Bible.  Even so, Jesus proved the disciples wrong in that children have a very unique and developing faith that most do not capture (Lk 18:15-17).  Children are very much a gift from the Lord (Ps 127:3-5).  If we are to live a Christ centered life while we are in existence on this planet, then taking care of a child's basic spiritual needs should be a very essential part of the family's and church's work.
The spiritual journey for children should first and foremost come from the family.  Parents should be able to instill Jesus into their daily walk alongside their children diligently.  The Bible demands a clear understanding for children to be trained and brought through a spiritual development process by the parents (Prv 22:6).  The mothers, fathers, or guardians thereof should be able to show the children that Jesus is walking daily with their family and the child's life every single moment that there is on this earth through the imitation of Christ and pure example (Dt 6:7).  Christ should first be exemplified in the home and taken into close consideration allowing the child to openly share their faith and feelings toward their parents about their Christian walk.  It is often said that the child looks up to the parents and imitates their ways and speech to learn, grow, and develop throughout this life.  If children are going to walk in the ways of the parents, then the parents need to be leading the child towards God.

God's Love Over All

I'm not going to lie when I say that my entire life has entered confusion mode.  God enters specific people into your head to begin praying and do so without ceasing for long periods of time.  This has happened since the last school year and will continue to go on as long as I'm around.  I understand God has a reason for all of the things that enter through, but I'll never know what could come of these things, or what hardships I may face from it.  Something that could be so easily condemnable or so harshly viewed could be the one thing that is the most Christ-centered of all.  All I can do is just press play on this life that I have going for me and to be sure that I don't pause any of the things that should keep going.  I've pushed pause on this life, and nothing came out of it of edifying glory or praise of God.  However, when kept going, I felt much closer to God and He knew my every weakness and I overcame every obstacle much easier than I am now.

God knows my heart and my every weakness. He understands my life and where it shall go.  It's time to remember what is on my inner mind and forget the outside thought.  For God knows the plans He has for me. Ones to prosper me.  I am His. He is mine.  That's all that matters.

These Things I Will Do...

Life has never been more chaotic than it has been over this past semester. This soul has been through stress, chaos, heartbreak, and abundance of joys. This mind has ventured into the places many others would not venture, but also has remained so common to avoid confusion within other's lives around me. I have stood up to the challenges that were before me, overcame, and learned from each experience. Oh, how Williams teaches us more than we ever could realize.
All I can say is I'm grateful and thankful for every person that has ventured into my life since January. As my close friends would know, I was not in the best place and honestly my life still consumes places that need worked on, but in all thankfulness, a select few have stopped their busy schedules to come down and let me vent every part of my life, every facet, and every thought process. God has supplied my every need this semester and I'm thankful that I'm allowed the privilege to grow in Him, while growing in my friendship with others.

Thank God for all He is. Through the trials, the pain, the strife, He still prevails. There's no darkness, only light within the hearts of those who love Him first and foremost. Never lose sight. I lost my way, and He waited for me to find Him again.

I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.

Isaiah 42:16

The Perfect Puzzle, The Perfect Painting

Sometimes, I sit back and listen to people try and understand the world. They try to make sense of the things around them and nothing seems to make sense anymore. Life just seems jumbled, what once made sense is completely irrelevant now, and the things of this world does not quite satisfy the way they wish it would. Sometimes it's like losing that last puzzle piece that could create the missing link, or the very last color you need to paint the perfect portrait. However, what we end up finding is finding that puzzle piece that doesn't match at all, or finding out that there isn't an adequate color to finish the portrait you're trying to complete because it's all too sophisticated.

I don't believe life is meant to make all complete sense. If it did, then what would the journey be like? It would be too easy, we would not understand the mistakes we make or the relationships we create with various people. This life would be, in a sense, too bleak and bland. I praise God for the trials, tribulations, and the things I've went through in my life. Although nothing makes sense to me at all, I have the peace to know that He holds what I cannot.

I don't believe I'm suppose to understand everything I've gotten into or even what kind of world this is. Nothing makes sense because my life isn't suppose to be cookie-cutted. I'm always being molded, always shaped, and always becoming closer and closer to whatever I'm intended to be. Whatever comes up in my life, that's what will happen. Whatever doesn't show up, that'll just be another barrier to push myself over or just to walk around altogether and keep trekking forward. Whatever seems complicated, do not try to make sense of it... just sit back and watch it unravel. Expectation is the root of all heart ache. We just have to hop in the car and go, fix the small things, and embrace the picture being painted that our colors do not seem to convey, or put in the puzzle piece that doesn't fit. Who says a mismatched piece in a puzzle isn't beautiful?


Ty

Stay Happy...

Thinking of.. Nothing.

As my thoughts progress and develop, all I can think about is... Nothing. Absolutely nothing. My mind is not functioning along with my heart, even though I know exactly the path I should head in. It's kind of hard  when it's not all up to myself. Life, come at me. I'm seriously not afraid of a single thing anymore. I know what I think, and I know what I believe. If for some reason anything goes against me, let it. There's so many more important things in this world than to worry about anything more than glorifying God regardless of any decisions that comes toward my way.

God, you know exactly where my heart, mind, and life is going. You know exactly what is in the forefront of my mind, and that is mostly you.. and completely You. We all have battles, we all have something that encompasses our lives, but You are sovereign. Thanks for bringing me to Williams and thanks for guiding my life in the way it should go. It's all up to me.. partly. Hello, this new week.

All I can say is, I've never been more "okay" in my life... yet I find peace.

All I ask.

Pick me a path, and somehow convince me to be okay with it. That's all I ask.

- Ty

Feelings in Poetic Form

This is my complete and honest feelings for the night. I hope you can look past my poetic failures, but there is a structure to it.

As my life moves, grows, and develops within my mind

I see a new day dawning coming over the horizon.

Where this road will take me, I'm not entirely sure

All I know is that my mind is searching for a cure

Battles and struggles leap and get in the way

But, I have a feeling your life creates me a new day.

I know I'm not running into anything new

I understand that not all of this can be true

All I can fathom is how life could be if you were all I knew

I understand my life has seen things come and go

It's not like I haven't undergone these things, I know

My entire self has seen the sins of this dark place

Many of these I'm thankful I have found solace

My mind may seem confusing, my heart may seem troubling

I know that I have many problems and I'm always stumbling

But thankfully, you see past all of my failures

Thankfully, you understand that I am all yours

Dear God, You blessed me, I'm all Yours.

Shape my heart

Shape my mind

Take care of my thoughts

You shape my future

Oh, how my life has finally began

Something I Cannot Gain

I have been rapid fire posting on this blog and I understand this isn't Facebook or Twitter... I just have so much on my mind tonight.

What is a person suppose to do when the only thing they can think of is about how their life is to lead out. I understand exactly in my head how picture perfect things could be with where I am in life right now. I also understand that things don't always go as you wish they would in your head, however become the complete opposite. It's even worse when your mind and heart are on the same page so that it fuels a fire within yourself that no one ever can see or understand but yourself. Even trying to put all of your thoughts into words completely makes you stutter and lose train of thought when trying to show your thoughts or any of your mind's processes to another friend. 

This "you" is completely me. Sometimes I feel like I'm in this rut that I can't jump out of and for some reason I find solace in explaining this rut to someone. Do I ever get completely out of it? I wish that I could say I do, but most of the time it lands me in even more heart and emotion connecting with my mind in more things to worry or think about. To say that Christ is not in this would be completely ridiculous so whoever is reading this, no this isn't something that would be not under the direction of Christ, but could potentially strengthen that relationship if my thoughts would play out like I want them to. 

All I can say is.. my heart, along with my mind want something much more than it'll ever gain. What is so close has never been so far out of reach. With this life, I give myself up to patience. If ever I falter and become emotionally distressed, just remember I haven't reached the end... I've only opened a new chapter.

Hello, new... scary... but hopeful life.

I Refuse

What is it to be a part of this world?  Vile, cruel, sick, sadistic world, that of which we live in.  So many people fighting to survive... fighting to hold onto the life they have left.  So many lives taken into complete knots and turmoil.  

I refuse to live like this.

I refuse to be vile to gain my way.

I refuse to ignore what I believe.

I refuse to be a stiff person

I refuse to be strict in my standings.

I refuse to be strict in my Christianity.

I refuse to not allow Christ to show.

I refuse to live like other Christians want me to. I want to live out on the edge and live for my God and go against all that was taught that was orderly in the past years. I want to push off the systematic, orderly paths of things, shake it up, be more attentive to Christ's callings for me.  I want to love those of all problems, all addictions, and all emotional problems.  I want to not judge those who others say are awful, and love them and take care of them as Christ would.  I want to love like Christ loved.

I am God's... not this world's. I do not want to be a part of it.  My home is elsewhere, I'm just a traveler here. 

Youth Ministry

When someone keys the word "Youth Pastor," then what comes to mind?  In my mind through the years, I have always thought that the youth pastor was a glorified Sunday School teacher who plays games with teenagers. Honestly, many people think this exact same thing, so I wasn't alone.

I surrendered to youth ministry a few years ago after leading drama in Alicia Baptist Church. I had no idea at the time that God was going to take this, and burden my heart for many things that I never thought were possible. To begin with, on the outside, youth ministers do look like glorified Sunday School teachers. We appear for church and teach a lesson in the class, then head out to the service in which we give our announcements of events. Then go home. What people do not see is exactly what happens inside the four wall'ed classroom, and outside the classroom.

The youth that God allows me to mentor and train in discipleship is honestly one that struggles, hurts, and goes through many problems that the world throws at them. It is not uncommon to answer questions to these problems every Sunday morning and Wednesday night  regularly. Try taking on questions like "How do I witness to an atheist?" or "How can I explain my salvation to my parents?" and the most heartbreaking one that I have dealt with so far, "How do I live for God and stand out for Him in this world that hates me for what I do?" The youth pastor then must mentor, train, and guide the student(s) for not just a Sunday morning, but throughout the week for sometimes months.

Throughout this journey God has put me on, I have never stayed up more nights and worried about anyone more than I have for the youth. I sit and wonder how they are doing with their witnessing they tell me about. I ponder how they're feeling when they post statuses or tweets about their faith and knowing the struggles they may go through for expressing it. I cry at the many blessings and the outright love they all have for each other because that is very rare to find in this increasing mindset of selfishness this world tries to push out on them. I sometimes sit up until two or three in the morning texting one of the students on how to get through problems. Not just any problems, but issues of cutting, depression, loneliness, sadness, feeling neglected, sexual immorality, and home problems. Youth Ministry doesn't only involve the students directly in the church, but also some outside as well, texting or calling about the meanings of this world.

Teenagers want to feel belonging. They want to be loved and cared for. They want to know you listen to them and want to help them in any way possible that you can. I would honestly drive hundreds of miles to rescue any one of the youth within my church just to save them from people that may harm them. God has given me this burden to reach out and show teenagers that there is still hope in this world. This place isn't completely abandoned, ruined, and completely marked with sinfulness. There are still people out there who want to get to know them, and want to direct them to a God that knows all, sees all, and understands every problem that they face. God wants a relationship with every single one, not just a one time experience.

Youth Ministry is a full time, every moment, every day, phone always buzzing, running around, rescuing, and tiresome job... but God has opened my eyes to love every single minute of it, and I will not end this until He pulls me away kicking and screaming.

Youth, I love you guys and I want you to know that I'm here to be your friend, and your counselor if ever you need one. Thank you for sticking with me and listening to my crazy personality every week.

- Ty

The New Friend

Life is never what people intend for it to be, which is something that is true in my life as I'm sure it is in everyone else's. We try and find friends to keep our lives satisfied, and hunger for their attention to not only motivate us, but to empower us with strength in the tough times. This is my friend.

I have decided to begin blogging not because I have tried and ran away from blogging before, but to say that I want to get my ideas and thoughts out that need to be thrown out there. I want to be able to write as my heart wills me to and allow myself the avenue to get my worries, fears, and failures out as well as my happiness, joy, and to brag on the marvelous Creator that shaped and fashioned me as I am today.  

With time, I will try and fix this up as much as possible to reflect me as a person much more and allow anyone who may just be looking my name up to get to know me a little bit, then they can find some sort of idea. I'll be honest, my life is not what everyone seems to think or see. While I may have a great job, family, and a church to back me, I very much have struggles, pains, and problems just like everyone else. I'm human and God allows me to have a troubled heart in which strengthens my relationship with Him when the trials are over.

Through this, my new friend, I can overcome obstacles as I sit in the presence of God and word out the details of my life that shake me, move me, and empower me.

- Ty