What is a person suppose to do when the only thing they can think of is about how their life is to lead out. I understand exactly in my head how picture perfect things could be with where I am in life right now. I also understand that things don't always go as you wish they would in your head, however become the complete opposite. It's even worse when your mind and heart are on the same page so that it fuels a fire within yourself that no one ever can see or understand but yourself. Even trying to put all of your thoughts into words completely makes you stutter and lose train of thought when trying to show your thoughts or any of your mind's processes to another friend.
This "you" is completely me. Sometimes I feel like I'm in this rut that I can't jump out of and for some reason I find solace in explaining this rut to someone. Do I ever get completely out of it? I wish that I could say I do, but most of the time it lands me in even more heart and emotion connecting with my mind in more things to worry or think about. To say that Christ is not in this would be completely ridiculous so whoever is reading this, no this isn't something that would be not under the direction of Christ, but could potentially strengthen that relationship if my thoughts would play out like I want them to.
All I can say is.. my heart, along with my mind want something much more than it'll ever gain. What is so close has never been so far out of reach. With this life, I give myself up to patience. If ever I falter and become emotionally distressed, just remember I haven't reached the end... I've only opened a new chapter.
Hello, new... scary... but hopeful life.
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